Wednesday, April 8, 2009

{not a moment too soon...}

Many years ago, a good friend and I were discussing the elusive quest for happiness. He was about to move out West from Ottawa and as the two of us were preparing to part ways, we found ourselves reflecting on the years that had just past. We were both standing at a particular crossroad in our lives and happiness, at the time, seemed a bit like an old wives tale.

As we spent an afternoon driving through the rural countryside of Eastern Ontario, we concluded that happiness was something that wasn’t really recognized until the moment had passed you by. It seemed more like a state that was acknowledged after the fact because life seemed to change in such small little incremental steps that we hardly even noticed its progression. In short, we determined that we weren’t really chasing it as much as we were looking over our shoulder at it with nostalgia and wondering what all the magical pieces were that seemed to fit together at the time.

Nearly six years has passed now and while the two of us are provinces apart, we still metaphorically drive the countryside together sometimes and during our time apart we’ve experienced marriage, children, death, the loss of jobs and at times, the loss of ourselves but we have also realized one very important thing; that yes, it’s true, life does have a tendency to coast along with changes that aren’t always noticeable until you’re looking at them in the rearview mirror…but life also stops you dead in your tracks and forces you to look straight ahead.

It’s those moments – the ones that stare you in face – that make life magical. They create the change that we’ve always been to afraid to tackle and the momentum that could derail us at any time…and yet you continue on, because happiness is no longer just a part of your past but also right at your fingertips. My moment was this past January when I sat on the edge of my bed wondering how this was happening to me…how this moment was happening to me. It wasn’t long though before I realized that it wasn’t happening to me…it was becoming a part of me; a part of my experience, a part of my past and most importantly, a part of my future.

I’ve spent a good part of my life being afraid of “moments” – sad moments, scary moments, life changing moments, missing the moment, capturing the moment, being in the moment…I much preferred the subtle passing of time that enabled me to experience the transition of life with the least amount of battle scars. But here’s the thing…in the midst of my moment, I caught myself wondering if you can ever really leave a mark on the world if you’ve never really been inflicted with one?

So here I am…four months after impact and having decided that the moment is all there really is. My life has been shaped by one moment after another that I never once took the opportunity to embrace for fear of what I might find. Now, having survived one of the more tumultuous moments I’ve ever known…I want nothing more than to take them all in and if I’m really lucky…capture some of them through the eyes of someone who’s only seeing them for the very first time.

Ladies and Gentlemen…Welcome to Fifteen:Fifty-One Photography!

“Behold, I show you mystery,
we may not all sleep, but we will all be changed,
in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye…”
~ 1 Corinthians 15:51

1 comment:

kristy said...

YAY! Photography and writing....two things you are very good at. Congratualtions on the new blog, I will be back to visit often, I now have you bookmarked.