{the ex factor...}

Have you ever been able to be friends with an ex?

My husband appears to have mastered this skill with his past girlfriends and I always wondered how he did it! I, on the other hand, seem to have adopted the Miranda Hobbes school of thought on this issue; “We didn’t work out…you need to not exist!” Believe me though…it’s not for lack of trying! I’ve actually invested many months of awkward phone calls and painful “updates” (you know the ones!!), all in hopes of being able to find some middle ground and eventually cross over to the other side. It never seems to work though, there always ends up being too much of something; too much history…too much dirt…too many memories from the day you broke-up instead of memories from the days before. In the end, our collective pasts won the battle and they’ve all drifted into the land of lost boyfriends; home to our summer flings, first loves and the occasional admission of bad judgment!

I’m pleased to announce though that I have been given renewed hope as of late, in the form of a short yet sweet relationship from my University days; Josh and I met in our second year of university during a rather strange and oddly inexplicable sequence of events! We met…more than once…in a variety of places…and eventually, we just decided to start meeting on purpose! I have to admit that the randomness of our constantly crossing paths was rather alluring; the mystery…the intrigue…really, what’s a girl to do?!?! I mean, you can’t really blame me for being intoxicated by the “tall, dark and handsome-ness” of it all!!

But alas…I digress…

We did eventually start dating and it was great but much like the flowers he once gave me, our relationship was short lived. Similar to the circumstances that brought us together, new ones were pulling us apart and given our combined track record in dealing with the “ex-factor”, it never even occurred to us to try and take our shared experience to a place that potentially had more staying power than the relationship we had just come out of. With that, we parted ways…until a little creation called Facebook came along and made our worlds collide! Then, just like that, our pasts became present once again and for the two of us, that meant a second chance at the friendship that we let slip between our fingers.

So for the past few months, we’ve been catching up on everything that we missed and we’re also discovering that ten years can seem like a lifetime when you consider all that can happen…marriage, children, careers. We’re also finding though that while we may not have been very successful as a couple, our time together has managed to leave a very promising friendship in its wake (and perhaps evidence that our seemingly random encounters weren’t really random at all!). What we lacked back then appears to be the very thing that’s enabling us to be far better friends now. Who knew?!?!

Josh lives in Toronto now and is the Father of a beautiful little girl. I was heading down to his neck of the woods a few weekends ago for a long overdue visit and it also provided the perfect opportunity for a little stroll down memory lane! Shortly before I headed to Toronto, Josh mentioned that he didn’t have any good pictures of him and his daughter so we decided to meet up in the historic Distillery District not only to resolve his photographic dilemma, but also to have a drink and catch up…you know, just like old friends! Ten years may have passed but I’m finding that with maturity also comes the ability to see beyond what was to the possibility of what may be and in so many ways…it was as though not a single day had gone by. The pictures we captured from that afternoon are proving to be a beautiful reminder for me of just how much things change and all the while, they stay exactly the same.

So, without further ado…I would like you meet my new friend Josh, and his absolutely stunning leading lady, Olivia. They take my breath away...